feet smell like cheetos

salt and pepper chin whiskers

this dog needs braces

A while back I came across a recipe for gluten free cookies that used only five ingredients: hazelnuts, sugar, egg whites, salt and vanilla. The pictures looked beautiful but the simplicity and complete lack of wheat or wheat substitutes was what really won me over. I love hazelnuts but I didn’t have any handy. What I did have was a big bag of roasted unsalted macadamia nuts burning a hole in my pantry. Macadamia nuts are so oily, they tend to go bad rather quickly. With salted roasted  mac nuts, this is no problem for me as I will generally eat the entire package before it makes it’s way into the pantry but I bought some unsalted nuts to make macadamia crusted halibut (oh. my. yummy.) and I hadn’t found a good use for the leftover nuts. Enter this recipe.

It’s super, super simple, as Sandra Lee would say and it’s also buttery, rich and deeeeelicious. They look like they’d be crunchy but mine were chewy and moist, that might be due to the high fat content of the nuts I used. I barely got these cookies on a plate, we scarfed them so fast! I did add an ingredient bringing the grand total of ingredients to six but you can leave out the white chocolate if you’re a minimalist like that. Feel free to try this recipe out with the nut of your choice! Go nuts! (HA HA! I crack me up.) I plan on making the original recipe with the hazelnuts then making little sandwiches using Nutella as filling. Yum.

Adapted from: Purplefoodie.com

Ingredients:
- 1 1/4 cup macadamia nuts, lightly toasted, unsalted (reserve 1/4 cup to sprinkle on top of the cookies before baking)
- ½ cup sugar
- 2 large egg whites
- a pinch of salt
- ½ tsp vanilla extract
- shaved white chocolate for topping

Directions:

Preheat to 325 F. Line two baking sheets with Silpats or parchment.

Pulse nuts and sugar together in a food processor until finely ground.

Beat egg whites and salt in another large bowl with an electric mixer on medium-high speed until stiff peaks form.

Using a silicone spatula, fold the egg whites into the nut mixture. Add vanilla and stir gently until thoroughly combined.

Pour the batter to a plastic zipper bag and snip off the tip. Pipe the batter on the Silpat into one inch rounds, maintaining a finger’s distance between cookies.

Tap the baking sheet a few times on the counter to spread the batter and get rid of air bubbles.

Sprinkle the top of each cookie with the chopped nuts and white chocolate

Bake until golden brown, 7-12 minutes. Keep an eye on it; it goes from golden brown to brown very quickly.

Let cool on the baking sheets for 5 minutes. Gently transfer cookies to a wire rack to cool completely.

Check out this weird lookin’ fellow who dances for a quarter!

And this drunk guy who looks so real except for his dead eyes. Fun and disturbing!

I know someone who belongs in here!

This one hardly seems appropriate! Watch those hands, mister!

I had to test out the career pilot. The answer it gave me was dead on…

It told me I would be a MOOCHER! I knew it!

MQ got into a fierce arm-wrestling match with this luchador and nearly had his arm ripped off (no joke! He was sore for a whole day after this!)

The very best thing about the Musee Mecanique is that it has dozens of fortune tellers! You know those gypsies and wizards and palm readers that sit in glass coffins waiting for your quarter to bring them to life to wave their disembodied hand over a crystal ball then spit out a tiny cardboard fortune? I LIVE for those things. Every time I hit an amusement park or boardwalk, I have to get my fortune.

Hmmmmm. Very wise, very accurate, don’ t you think?

I am always finding my fortunes in the pockets of old jackets or jean shorts that haven’t been worn in years. I got my fortune told no fewer than 7 times at the Musee Mecanique. I would have gotten more but I ran out of quarters.

Once MQ ran out of quarters too, we decided to get some sustenance. The Musee is at the pier and is surrounded by tourist trap seafood restaurants begging you to come in and GET CRABS. I was happy to oblige.

Ooooh Baby! You know it’s gonna be a good meal if it requires a bib! My crabs were delicious and fresh and buttery and garlicky and mmmmmm… I wish I had some right now! I couldn’t stuff myself too much because I knew in a few short hours it would be time for some pea soup.

Pea Soup Andersen’s is one of the reasons I never want to fly to San Francisco. I have been known to eat at Pea Soup Andersen’s on the way up north AND on the way back down to L.A. I love it there.

That’s the stuff! It’s impossible to describe the flavor of pea soup. I didn’t try it until I was in my twenties, I was frightened by it’s garish color and off-putting thickness but once I tried it, I was hooked!

After being good and ordering only ONE bowl instead of the bottomless bowl I usually get, MQ and I got into the car and made our way back to sunny, smoggy L.A.

The end. Of that story.